Patience with Joy

^{Colossians 1:11-14}

^"11 May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, ¹²giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. ¹³He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

As I sat behind the drums on Sunday and listened to one our pastors read God's word I was struck especially by one phrase I hadn't noticed before- patience with joy.  I understand patience and I understand joy, but the two don't usually go together in my mind.  Patience is endurance, perserverence, waiting.  Its grueling, not joyful.  It is a struggle and a discipline, like spiritual sit ups, meant to make your faith stronger.  How could that be joyful?

As I thought about it throughout the week I realized that there was a time in my life when I had patience with joy.  When I was a kid I remember waiting for my birthday.  I would build it up in my mind so much that it was almost impossible for the real event to live up to those expectations.  I waited and waited, but the waiting was joyful because through my mind ran images of piles of presents, mountains of cakes, all my friends and the best day that could ever be lived on this earth.  The birthday was rarely as good as the anticipation, but the whole experience was joyful. 

Then I think (as I often do now!) of Stephanie and our baby boy on the way.  That's probably the better analogy of patience with joy.  The waiting is not easy, but it is joyful.  I think, and I know Stephanie does, of the day that I will hold my son in my arms and kiss his sweet face.  I think of what it felt like to hold my daughter after watching my wife go through 44 hours of labor. 

I guess if there is a lesson to learn from both of these experiences its that having joy accompanying your patience is easy if you consider the prize at the end.  Being qualified to share in the inheritence of the saints in light as Paul says, that's something we can joyfully wait for.  

My Social Experiment

I tried a little experiment this week with my students.  I told two of the more popular, influential kids (one boy, one girl) to each try to come in to one of my classes and behave perfectly.  I told them that I was almost certain the class would follow.  I was right.  That was the calmest and best that class has ever behaved. 

So, I told them to try the opposite in the next class.  Behave badly (their normal behavior would suffiice!)  Interupt me, make noises, all the normal things.  This idea of course was fine with them.  The class followed them closely on the behaving well, they followed them exactly on the bad behavior.  The boy came in galloping like a horse and 2 seconds later another boy in the class was galloping around, mirroring his exact behavior.  The girl started making noises and was immediately copied by another girl in the class.  They got loud and the others chimed in.  It was uncanny how closely the others in the class followed their behavior. 

I tried to draw a few conclusions for the class from this experiment.  Among them were the fact that God gave us all different personalities.  Some are leaders and they bear a huge responsibility to lead well.  Others are followers and they must be very careful of which voices they listen to.  There was a 3rd class of students that neither led nor followed but kept their behavior consistent throughout both experiments.  There were very few of them though. 

I would love to replicate this experiment on adults and see if peer pressure, or social influence, or herd mentality or whatever you'd like to call it still exists past age 14.  I have a suspicion it does, more than most of us would like to admit.  I don't know if that will be possible though, adults generally don't listen to me, I'm more of a follower myself :-)

Mommy Moments

Steph's wrote a bit about what she's been going through the past month.  You can check it out here:
When life doesn't go the way you want it to

I think if we've learned anything from this month its that you never really know something until you've experienced it.  Words like "premie" meant nothing more than a size on a onesie to me before this experience, now they mean much more.  I know I will be more cautious in the future to tell people "I understand" when a lot of times I don't. 

We are doomed

I asked my class of 8th graders today what was one of the biggest issues of the American Civil War.  One of them raised their hand and promptly and sincerely replied "the jews in the concentration camp things."  This is the future of our great nation...

Fear and Love

"Fear, as it were, prepares the place for charity (love); but when charity has taken up its dwelling, the fear that prepared the place for it is expelled.  As one grows the other diminishes: as charity moves to the centre, fear is driven outside.  The greater the charity, the lesser the fear: the lesser the charity, the greater the fear."- St. Augustine

I remember when Stephanie and I first met.  She was 15 and I was 17 and we were about as new to relationships as they come.  Stability hadn't exactly been a hallmark of Stephanie's homelife and listening and patience have never been my strong suits.  So, as with all couples, we eventually had our first fight.  The months before the fight had been la-la land but now reality came.  With the fight came a new kind of fear.  Not a fear that I would be wrong (turns out I was!) but a fear that this new love that was so wonderful would somehow be extinguished or diminished.  I remember those early arguments Stephanie and I asking each other, in not so many words, "you're not going to quit on me, on us, are you?"  I knew how much I loved her, and she knew how much she loved me, but as yet we couldn't see that love in the other person. 

I think that fear served a purpose for us.  It revealed to us just how much we wanted to be together.  I didn't fear being alone, I feared not being with Stephanie.  She didn't fear the act of me leaving, she feared the reality of me not being there. 

Yet, as the years went by that fear was replaced slowly by more and more love.  Years went by and the prospect of either one of us "quitting" seemed less... and less... and now seems nonexistent.  The confidence I have in her love for me and she has in my love for her has replaced the fear. 

I think this relationship between love and fear is why Scripture can speak so seamlessly of fearing God and also having complete confidence that we are heirs, beloved children, objects of His eternal affection.  The fear of being seperated from our Creator is what drives us into His arms, and in His arms we find no fear.  Confession is as fearful a thing as there is- to look your sin straight in the face and then to bring that sin before a Holy God.  What is conviction if not fear?  Forgiveness though, is the warm embrace that replaces that fear.  

I can't help but think that fear has served some purpose in my relationship with God.  Fear made me see how much I needed a Savior.  Yet, I know that in many ways it is time for fear to be replaced, driven out, by love.  If I truly grasped how much God loves me, where would there be room for a moment of doubt or worry?  Fear brought me to love, may love bring me out of fear.  

"Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved"- Amazing Grace by John Newton

"He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me" - How He Loves- John Mark McMillan

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."- 1 John 4:18

Pink Zebras

"I wish the real world would just stop hassling me"- Matchbox 20

I heard that song on the radio the other day for the first time in a long time and couldn't help but identify with it a little bit.  With all the challenges of this week it just seems like Steph and I couldn't catch a break.  Before I complain I must stop and say I am very, very thankful for all the wonderful things that happened.  They were able to stop Stephanie's labor, I still have a wonderful baby boy cooking safely in his mommy's belly, and so many people have shown us so much love and support this week.  That being said, it seems like one of those weeks just to keep our head above the water.  I couldn't help but think about the video for the aforementioned song.   Anybody remember it?  It had everything- pink zebras, a camel walking through a bowling alley, anything you could ever ask for.  The other lines of the song hit home too

"I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho
I wonder what I'd do if they all did just what I said
I'd shout out an order, I think we're out of this man get
me some
Boy don't make me wanna change my...tone, my tone

I wonder what it's like to be a super hero
I wonder where I'd go if I could fly around downtown
From some other planet, I get this funky high on yellow
Sun
Boy I bet my friends will all be...stunned, they're stunned"

Well, I'm no superhero, and definitely not the head honcho, but when all is said and done, I wouldn't change with anyone.  So, I guess I can end this post with the end of the song:

"Please don't change, please don't break
The only thing that seems to work at all is you
Please don't change, at all from me
To you, and you to me"

P.S. If you have no clue what I'm talking about or just want to join me in my memories of the 90's you can find the video here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwJazZIWNgg