Something isn't right here!

Been awhile since I blogged so let me catch you up on a couple events. 

Kids got colds, we got colds, rinse with lysol, repeat...

Dryer exploded in a burning inferno... or something like that...

Dryer vent was wrong size... frustration, the kicking of things, and a hole in my house you could fit a small dog through followed ...

Aiden decided that sleep is for girls... well all girls except his mom...

Yes, I know its thanksgiving weekend and I just taught a small group lesson about not grumbling and complaining, so let me get to my point.  As we walk through life we all have these odd moments where we seem to throw up our hands and say "something isn't right here!"  Whether it be in small moments when runny noses keep your family chained to your house for weeks on end behind a fortress of tissues or in bigger moments.  Whether we say it or not there is this feeling that these things ought not be this way.  Of course, the question becomes even bigger when we move on to deeper questions of why people suffer. Why the good aren't met with riches and the wicked with destruction.   

  Every system of thought from Christianity to darwinism deals with this question of suffering and tries to find the answer.  One of the earliest books of literature had a man named Job dealing with this question.  Why aren't things the way they should be? 

Now, much has been written and much has been said about suffering and I won't attempt tonight to deal with that huge question, but I will ask another question- why do we even ask the question?  Why do we feel out of place here?  Why do cry out in our deepest tragedies and smallest aches that something isn't right here?

Afterall, this is all I've ever known.  I've had approximately 27,000 colds and viruses in my life (I'm rounding here).  My dryer has never exploded but believe me, I've had plenty of things break!  I was born into a world full of aches and pains.  Why is it that I would expect anything else? 

N.T. Wright wrote in Simply Christian that all of us here the echo of a voice that calls to us and reminds us of another place.  Some call it heaven, some call it paradise, some call it home.  We here it clearly in our moments of pain and frustration  We all long for some place where wrongs are made right, where justice flows like a river, where all our groanings are swallowed up in perfection.  We long for a world that is so unlike our own as to be almost laughable if it wasn't so wonderful. 

Could it be we just made up an antithesis to our own world- but why would we? How could we? Or could it be, that one day all our longing will be fulfilled? 
 
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." - C.S. Lewis.

What's in a Name

Exodus 20:7 “You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in vain."

So Aiden and I were up this morning at 1:30 a.m. watching Oprah.  It was either Oprah or Carson Daily, and  personally I find Oprah the manlier show to watch- so we went with it.  She had a guest on who I honestly don't know, but Oprah was yelling at her (told you she was manlier than Carson Daily!)  The lady yelled back and said "I swear its true.  I swear on the grave of my dead child its true!"  The statement almost turned my stomach.  Here is a woman invoking something heart wrenching, just to prove a point.  Is anything sacred I thought?

Then I began to think of the way we use the most sacred of names- the name of God.  Some use it strengthen curse words.  Many use it when they stump their toe.  I would say its become one of the more casual words in our language. 

Just think about it.  Substitute something you hold sacred for all the time people use God's name.  Wouldn't it enrage you?  Wouldn't you cringe instead of laugh?  Wouldn't you shutter at the thought of using that word, that name, in anything less than a revered and honored way?  Shouldn't we treat God's name as even more holy than that?

Excess or Adoration?

I once had a pastor who wanted to put a baby grand piano in the new Church that was being built.  Not that anyone in that Church played that well but he wanted it to be a symbol of lavish love for God.  An over the top external example of our internal adoration.  After all, he said, idolaters and false religions have beautiful temples and gardens for their gods, doesn't the One True God deserve even more?

Now, I have spent a few years teaching God's Word and on numerous occasions have attacked the materialism of the Church, especially the Church in America.  We have huge building budgets, huge screens, and huge debt in many of our churches and often times the outreach is pitiful.  I was once at a Church that spent 40,000 paving a parking lot and to my knowledge, nothing on feeding the hungry of the community.  I think many of our Churches reflect the selfishness and materialism of our culture at large.  Now, I know that there are Churches (like ours!) that have their priorities straight, so obviously I'm speaking generally. 

But I don't think I'm alone in this disgust for Churches that do little to help the poor and do so much to make pretty buildings with good entertainment.  I think I am part of a generation that has grown tired of nice buildings full of uncaring people.  We would rather have giving people with simple buildings. 

So my question is this- is there room for material signs of worship?  Think of the story of Mary anointing Jesus' feet with expensive perfume.  What is it her critics cried- shouldn't you have given that to the poor!  Oh, and that lone critic was Judas.  After all, the temple was quite lavish, wasn't it?  So, is there ever a time for spending money lavishly as a sign of adoration of Jesus?  We buy those we love expensive gifts, shouldn't we do the same for Jesus?

Please understand me correctly- I'm just asking the question, not offering the answer.  I don't even know what a lavish material sign of love would look like.  I know it wouldn't be a parking lot or nice chairs to make us more comfortable.  Maybe it is a heart matter for each individual.  Maybe for an artist its a lavish painting that glorifies Christ.  Maybe for a musician it just may be the baby grand piano that plays melodies pleasing to the Lord.  I think most of the modern critique of Churches is fair-I'm just trying to make sure I'm not in the company of Judas if someone really is worshipping God with a right heart. 

Lemons

Friends, let me give you some advice.

When life gives you lemons...

Rub them in the open wound of an enemy!

Busy and Blessed

Someone asked me today (well, several people actually) what it feels like to be a father of two now.  My reply to them was "busy and blessed."  The busy part is just kind of par for the course around here.  The blessing part though- that's what has really hit me over and over again this week.  I was studying Psalm 84 today and noticed the word blessings 3 times:

   "⁴How blessed are those who dwell in Your house!
         They are ever praising You. Selah.
    ⁵How blessed is the man whose strength is in You,
         In whose heart are the highways to Zion!
    ⁶Passing through the valley of Baca they make it a spring;
         The early rain also covers it with blessings."
The last one especially is wonderful.  Baca means something like "weeping" or "arid."  The picture is a shower of blessings in the midst of a dry journey.  How great is our God!

So, I decided to count my blessings.
Here are just a few:

Aiden wasn't born early.  In fact, he was born late!  What would his little life had been like had he been 2 pounds instead of 10?

Considering what they went through- Aiden and Stephanie are both doing remarkably well.  Stephanie is up and moving around and even cleaned a little today.

Our Church family and physical family have overwhelmed us with love.  Our Church family has brought meals not once but twice.  They have completely understood when we had to drop everything and drop it quickly.  Our family has taken off days to help when Steph was on bedrest. 

Holland has adjusted so well.  She had to move to her big girl bed quickly since Steph can't lift her for a few weeks and she has done awesome.  I couldn't be more proud of her attitude towards Aiden.

Aiden's is nursing well and growing like he should.

And the last one- do you notice where Aiden's arm is?  Not at his side but right beside his other one!  We have a follow up in June to check on it but his pediatrician said it is "remarkable" how well it is doing.  I am thankful everytime he moves it!

Holland's Room Reno- Dots!

Holland's room is done!  So here is the surpise for the white walls:  DOTS!

Holland loves the dots and asks to go in her dot room all the time.  This is her big girl bed that also has dots as well as animals and ABC's.  Its like a toddler's all star combo.

This is where the cube and dresser ended up.  More dots!

Here is the orange wall with dots and a little arts and craft project.  Not sure if you can tell whats in the frames... but you can probably guess- its dots. 

This is Holland's reading corner.  She asks for her "corner" a lot too.

 

Holland's Room Reno- Paint Day!

So before I show some pictures of the paint colors I must say 3 things.  First off I have missed having my little wife painting alongside of me.  Spackle, sand, spackle, sand etc. can be kind of lonely by oneself.  Of course, she couldn't help with this project, you know being all pregnant.  Secondly, this will be Holland and eventually Aiden's shared bedroom.  We couldn't just go with pink or purple.  It had to be a neutral and we couldn't just copy the neutral nursery.  It made picking a color quite difficult.  Third, if you have never been to our house you need to understand that Steph and I have quite a reputation for our love for bright colors.  We have 3 different colors of green and 2 different kinds of yellow in our house!  These bright colors draw various reactions.  Some people say they love it (usually people trying to sell us stuff) and some say they hate it (usually people related to us!)  I think my favorite reaction so far was from Stephanie's grandfather.  After he saw our very bright green kitchen he said something like "I'd rather see the inside of a coffin every morning than have to look at your kitchen."  So with that being said the color we picked for Holland's room is...

WHITE!

Oh and bright orange!

Yep, 3 of the walls are white and 1 wall is bright orange.   I happen to love the paint (and the no strips!).There will also be a little surprise coming with the white walls soon, so stay tuned. 

Book Review: Too Busy Not to Pray

Book Review: Too Busy not to Pray by Bill Hybels

I must confess I have no idea where I got this book.  When we moved books out of what will be Holland's closet I found it and decided to give it a try.

Two words can sum up this book: simple and effective.

As for the first: simple.  The book is an easy read with very surface level exposition.  The illustrations are usually based off of family stories or other personal experiences.  The good part about its simplicity will be explained in a minute, but the simplicity did have a couple of drawbacks.  The first is that it was often repetitive.  The second being that it is in no way an exhaustive study on prayer and I would hate for anyone to think that it is.  There are great examples on talking personally with God, but nothing about reverence, about presenting requests to God, but very little about aligning your life with His will. 

Now for the second: effective.  I used to hate books that were simple.  I would only read books that forced me to grow and learn.  I have since learned that there is definitely a place for an easy read book now and then.  There is great value in reminders.  As I read this book I found myself thinking over and over again "this is simple stuff, I know this, I've heard it all before."  Yet, as I sat down to pray I found my prayer life reinvigorated.  I found a lot of my old patterns broken and replaced with a fresh, vibrant conversation with God. 

The whole of the book is an intensely practical guide to prayer and many of the suggestions he makes are doubtless good ones.  However, I think the real value in this book for me is that it made me think about my prayer life.  Concentrated, focused prayers are much better than half-hearted repetitions and formulas. 

Before I leave this review I'd like to share one prayer from a Theologian that Hybels quotes in the book- the prayer was a blessing for their food:

"Father, I love being alive today.  And I love sitting down with brothers in the Hole in the Wall (the restaurant), eating good food and talking about kingdom business.  I know you're at this table, and I'm glad.  I want to tell you in front of these brothers that I love you, and I'll do anything for you that you ask me to do." 

Room Reno Days 2-4

So here's how the room renovation has gone:

Day 2- Sand old spackle, apply new spackle, wait 24 hours

Day 3- Sand Old spackle, apply new spackle, wait 24 hours

Day 4- Sand old spackle

As you can tell, it is quite a process.  I have experimented a bit with how to fill in the strips.  On one of them I did the whole process including drywall tape.  The rest I've tried various shortcuts.  We'll see how it turns out tomorrow when I paint. 

Pray for the Chandlers

We have broken hearts for our good friends the Chandlers.  Their little girl Rebekah has just been diagnosed with Leukemia.  She is 6 weeks younger than Holland and they have grown up together.  We can't imagine what they are going through, so please keep them in your prayers.  You can keep up with how Rebekah is doing here : jchandler.org . 

Holland's Room Renovation Day 1

So I'm off for spring break this week which means its time to tackle redoing Holland's big girl room.  We are doing a couple things different this time around, we'll see how it goes :-)

One of the things we are doing that we've never done before is getting rid of the little wood strips that hide the joints.  Not that the cheap little wood strips aren't wonderful and all, but we are kind of sick of looking at them.  Somebody told us they filled in theirs with joint compound and it worked great, so we are giving it a try!  Anyone else out there who has ever done it?  Holland thought my big bucket of wall spackle was ice cream and got mad she couldn't have some (please daddy!).  Got all the strips out and spackle in, next step is sanding and going over missed spots.

This is the graveyard of wall strips.

Steph has fallen in love with the little cube storage units from Target.  I assembled this one tonight.  55 little finishing nails just for the 5 back panels!  Oh, we thought the bins were 2 packs and they were only 1, so there will be 2 more bins after we go to target again. 

That's all for day 1! 

Godly Confidence

Have you ever noticed that Scripture calls us to be both humble and bold?  At first glance the two seem opposites.  Its easy to confuse humility with timidity and boldness with arrogance.  I know personally I have lacked both humilty and boldness before but I have also experienced them working together from time to time.  When I venture out bravely but know also that I do so in a power far greater than my own.  Those moments are rare, but they feel good. 

I've met some people, though I can only think of a few, who seem to have humilty and boldness down.  They have a kind of godly confidence.  They are the kind of people who instantly set you at ease with their humble spirit but are not afraid to challenge you with their boldness.  They are not afraid to speak up, but don't feel the need to be the loudest voice in the room.* 

I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it. 

*One last note- if you read this paragraph and thought I was talking about you- you probably need to work on the humility part :-)

Signs of the times

I'm only 26 but I have been noticing a few disturbing signs of age lately that I thought I'd share.  Maybe you've seen a few of these in yourself as well.

1.  Books- I read them more.  Which is a good thing.  The sign of aging comes in selection.  If a book has small print it will probably get skipped. 

2.  The clock- I used to be able to see a clock from 3 rooms away.  Now I look at the clock on the microwave and see what looks more like fuzzy neon worms.  I know you are thinking the first two signs mean I need to get my eyes checked- and I will- when I can no longer tell it is a microwave that the clock is on.

3.  My memory- I can't remember anything!  My memory was never very good so this may not be a sign, but I include because its getting very inconvenient.  For one thing I sent my ipod through the washer and dryer in a pants pocket a week ago.

4.  Music Volume- When I was younger I had a sign on my door that read "if its too loud, your too old."  Now, even if I wanted to play the music loud my minivan wouldn't allow it. 

5.   Music taste- The heavy rock gets skipped over most of the time in favor of the mellow stuff.  At least I'm not listening to Dave Matthews Band yet.

6.  Vitamins- I actually take them and they are neither cherry flavored or cartoon shaped.   

and the last sign of age- its 9:26 and time for bed! 

Who I Am

Who I am on my own:
   I am selfish.  I am quick tempered and impatient.  I am a worrier, a controller, and an idolater.  I am quick to let you down and often don't even know it.  I am lazy when I need to work and work when I should be resting.  I am quick to put all the wrong foods in my mouth and let all the wrong words come out of it.  I am ageing and feeling it more each day.  I am entropy on the outside and chaos on the inside.  I am a sinner.

Who I am to world:
  I am a number and a credit card.  I am the target market.  I am a consumer.  I am part of the traffic jam, part of the crowd, part of the long line, part of the problem.  I am a property tax, an income tax, and a sales tax.  I am one amongst billions.

Who I am in Christ:
  I am beloved.  I am alive and always will be.  I am eternal and eternally loved.  I'm forgiven, accepted, reconciled, redeemed.    I am blessed and a blessing.  I am a part of a body, a part of a family, a part of a Kingdom.  I am an heir and citizen of heaven.  I am sealed with the Holy Spirit.  I am accepted and justified.  I am more than a conqueror.  I am secure and can never be snatched out of His hand and never be separated from His love.  I am salt and I am light.  I am a disciple and a disciple maker.  I am a son of the King

What would they look like in Heaven?

As I mentioned in a previous post I have been re-reading the Great Divorce.  Throughout the book the character's heavenly body is often compared to their earthly one.  The pitiful and wretched look like kings and queens and the high and mighty are pictured, among other things, as dwarfs and monsters. 

I passed a man the other day in my car who I knew from my time working at family dollar in Franklinton.  The man is probably in his twenties, close to my age and would always come in with his grandmother.  He clearly had some mental disabilities but was as nice as a guy as you could meet.  In fact, he was always talking about Jesus.  You hand him his receipt and he would say something like "Praise Jesus."  Ask him how he's doing and he would say something about Jesus helping him and still praising Jesus.  It was as if it was the only thing on his mind, no matter what the topic.

I couldn't help but think as I passed the man what he would look like in heaven.  What would he look like once he never struggled with his disabilities and only his love for Jesus was left?  I must admit, I wonder if he'll shine a bit brighter than me.  He was never ashamed to say the name of Jesus or proclaim his love for God- and proclaim it loudly!  Maybe if we looked at people with heaven in mind, we might just be a little less tempted to impress the wise of this world and a little more eager to serve the future kings and queens of heaven.

"But many who are first will be last; and the last, first."- Matthew 19:30

Sesame Street

Things I learned on sesamestreet.org today:

Big Bird is 8 foot 2 inches tall

He is written to be on the same pyschological level as a 6 year old

His costume is made of more than 4,000 turkey feathers

He was the first sesame street character introduced, Oscar the grouch was 2nd

AND MOST IMPORTANT... his birthday is March 20.  I hope you all have a present prepared. 

Too sentimental?

Anybody else have a box like this sitting around their house?

The Great Divorce

With everything going on with Stephanie I decided to read a bit lighter book and have decided to tackle "The Great Divorce" by C.S. Lewis again.  If you've never read it than you are really missing out.  Lewis has a bus full of people leave hell and take a trip to heaven, or really the beginning of heaven to be more accurate.  They appear as ghosts and the world around them appears to solid for them to really walk on, much less live in.  That's a pretty shoddy description but you get the idea.  The interesting part of the book comes when each of the ghost-like people from hell have a conversation with one of the "solid" people sent to take them across the mountains and help them become solid themselves.  Nearly every one of the ghosts, usually after an argument, gives up the idea of going on to heaven and chooses instead to go back to their little part of hell.  They all have excuses-

A self-righteous man refuses to let a forgiven murderer help him go through the mountains. 

A bereaved mother is angry that she must first see and desire God before she can see her lost child (the hardest one to read)

A controlling woman will go but only if she can continue to help her husband fix all the things that only she can fix. 

Lewis himself is even chastised by his solid person (author George MacDonald) and warned that some people are more concerned with proving Christ than loving Him.  "As if all the good Lord ever had to do was exist." 

Certainly not all of these are temptations to hold onto for me, but I'm sure I have some things of my own.  Jonathan quoted author Cynthia Heimel in his blog and I will shamelessly steal it from him “I think when God wants to play a really rotten practical joke on you, he grants your deepest wish.”  All the people that went back to hell went back there because their deepest desire was not for Christ.  What a challenge. 

^" Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."- Matthew 10:39

Aiden's Ultrasound pictures

Here's a few of the ultrasound pics we got today.  If you click them they get bigger and a little easier to see the details.

Waving

Can you put your foot up to your nose?

A sweet smile

We got the thumbs up!

Chubby cheeks never looked so good.

Patience with Joy

^{Colossians 1:11-14}

^"11 May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, ¹²giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. ¹³He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

As I sat behind the drums on Sunday and listened to one our pastors read God's word I was struck especially by one phrase I hadn't noticed before- patience with joy.  I understand patience and I understand joy, but the two don't usually go together in my mind.  Patience is endurance, perserverence, waiting.  Its grueling, not joyful.  It is a struggle and a discipline, like spiritual sit ups, meant to make your faith stronger.  How could that be joyful?

As I thought about it throughout the week I realized that there was a time in my life when I had patience with joy.  When I was a kid I remember waiting for my birthday.  I would build it up in my mind so much that it was almost impossible for the real event to live up to those expectations.  I waited and waited, but the waiting was joyful because through my mind ran images of piles of presents, mountains of cakes, all my friends and the best day that could ever be lived on this earth.  The birthday was rarely as good as the anticipation, but the whole experience was joyful. 

Then I think (as I often do now!) of Stephanie and our baby boy on the way.  That's probably the better analogy of patience with joy.  The waiting is not easy, but it is joyful.  I think, and I know Stephanie does, of the day that I will hold my son in my arms and kiss his sweet face.  I think of what it felt like to hold my daughter after watching my wife go through 44 hours of labor. 

I guess if there is a lesson to learn from both of these experiences its that having joy accompanying your patience is easy if you consider the prize at the end.  Being qualified to share in the inheritence of the saints in light as Paul says, that's something we can joyfully wait for.  

My Social Experiment

I tried a little experiment this week with my students.  I told two of the more popular, influential kids (one boy, one girl) to each try to come in to one of my classes and behave perfectly.  I told them that I was almost certain the class would follow.  I was right.  That was the calmest and best that class has ever behaved. 

So, I told them to try the opposite in the next class.  Behave badly (their normal behavior would suffiice!)  Interupt me, make noises, all the normal things.  This idea of course was fine with them.  The class followed them closely on the behaving well, they followed them exactly on the bad behavior.  The boy came in galloping like a horse and 2 seconds later another boy in the class was galloping around, mirroring his exact behavior.  The girl started making noises and was immediately copied by another girl in the class.  They got loud and the others chimed in.  It was uncanny how closely the others in the class followed their behavior. 

I tried to draw a few conclusions for the class from this experiment.  Among them were the fact that God gave us all different personalities.  Some are leaders and they bear a huge responsibility to lead well.  Others are followers and they must be very careful of which voices they listen to.  There was a 3rd class of students that neither led nor followed but kept their behavior consistent throughout both experiments.  There were very few of them though. 

I would love to replicate this experiment on adults and see if peer pressure, or social influence, or herd mentality or whatever you'd like to call it still exists past age 14.  I have a suspicion it does, more than most of us would like to admit.  I don't know if that will be possible though, adults generally don't listen to me, I'm more of a follower myself :-)

Mommy Moments

Steph's wrote a bit about what she's been going through the past month.  You can check it out here:
When life doesn't go the way you want it to

I think if we've learned anything from this month its that you never really know something until you've experienced it.  Words like "premie" meant nothing more than a size on a onesie to me before this experience, now they mean much more.  I know I will be more cautious in the future to tell people "I understand" when a lot of times I don't. 

We are doomed

I asked my class of 8th graders today what was one of the biggest issues of the American Civil War.  One of them raised their hand and promptly and sincerely replied "the jews in the concentration camp things."  This is the future of our great nation...

Fear and Love

"Fear, as it were, prepares the place for charity (love); but when charity has taken up its dwelling, the fear that prepared the place for it is expelled.  As one grows the other diminishes: as charity moves to the centre, fear is driven outside.  The greater the charity, the lesser the fear: the lesser the charity, the greater the fear."- St. Augustine

I remember when Stephanie and I first met.  She was 15 and I was 17 and we were about as new to relationships as they come.  Stability hadn't exactly been a hallmark of Stephanie's homelife and listening and patience have never been my strong suits.  So, as with all couples, we eventually had our first fight.  The months before the fight had been la-la land but now reality came.  With the fight came a new kind of fear.  Not a fear that I would be wrong (turns out I was!) but a fear that this new love that was so wonderful would somehow be extinguished or diminished.  I remember those early arguments Stephanie and I asking each other, in not so many words, "you're not going to quit on me, on us, are you?"  I knew how much I loved her, and she knew how much she loved me, but as yet we couldn't see that love in the other person. 

I think that fear served a purpose for us.  It revealed to us just how much we wanted to be together.  I didn't fear being alone, I feared not being with Stephanie.  She didn't fear the act of me leaving, she feared the reality of me not being there. 

Yet, as the years went by that fear was replaced slowly by more and more love.  Years went by and the prospect of either one of us "quitting" seemed less... and less... and now seems nonexistent.  The confidence I have in her love for me and she has in my love for her has replaced the fear. 

I think this relationship between love and fear is why Scripture can speak so seamlessly of fearing God and also having complete confidence that we are heirs, beloved children, objects of His eternal affection.  The fear of being seperated from our Creator is what drives us into His arms, and in His arms we find no fear.  Confession is as fearful a thing as there is- to look your sin straight in the face and then to bring that sin before a Holy God.  What is conviction if not fear?  Forgiveness though, is the warm embrace that replaces that fear.  

I can't help but think that fear has served some purpose in my relationship with God.  Fear made me see how much I needed a Savior.  Yet, I know that in many ways it is time for fear to be replaced, driven out, by love.  If I truly grasped how much God loves me, where would there be room for a moment of doubt or worry?  Fear brought me to love, may love bring me out of fear.  

"Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved"- Amazing Grace by John Newton

"He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me" - How He Loves- John Mark McMillan

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."- 1 John 4:18

Pink Zebras

"I wish the real world would just stop hassling me"- Matchbox 20

I heard that song on the radio the other day for the first time in a long time and couldn't help but identify with it a little bit.  With all the challenges of this week it just seems like Steph and I couldn't catch a break.  Before I complain I must stop and say I am very, very thankful for all the wonderful things that happened.  They were able to stop Stephanie's labor, I still have a wonderful baby boy cooking safely in his mommy's belly, and so many people have shown us so much love and support this week.  That being said, it seems like one of those weeks just to keep our head above the water.  I couldn't help but think about the video for the aforementioned song.   Anybody remember it?  It had everything- pink zebras, a camel walking through a bowling alley, anything you could ever ask for.  The other lines of the song hit home too

"I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho
I wonder what I'd do if they all did just what I said
I'd shout out an order, I think we're out of this man get
me some
Boy don't make me wanna change my...tone, my tone

I wonder what it's like to be a super hero
I wonder where I'd go if I could fly around downtown
From some other planet, I get this funky high on yellow
Sun
Boy I bet my friends will all be...stunned, they're stunned"

Well, I'm no superhero, and definitely not the head honcho, but when all is said and done, I wouldn't change with anyone.  So, I guess I can end this post with the end of the song:

"Please don't change, please don't break
The only thing that seems to work at all is you
Please don't change, at all from me
To you, and you to me"

P.S. If you have no clue what I'm talking about or just want to join me in my memories of the 90's you can find the video here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwJazZIWNgg

Ideas are Dangerous

Had an odd coincidence this week that got me thinking.  Jonathan and I had a great discussion at small group about the influence of music, movies and other mediums on our thinking.  One particular movie we discussed was the Matrix and how it had Nietzsche's influence all over.  I went to work the next day and popped up google's newspage at lunch and found this article http://www.slate.com/id/2281133/ as well as this one http://www.hnn.us/articles/135404.html.  If you don't have the time to read both (or have better things to do on your lunch break) I'll save you the trouble and tell you that they both detail how Jared Loughner (the gunman in the Tuscon shootings) was quite fond of the writings of Nietzsche.  Now, I don't think Nietzsche is to blame for this tragedy any more than Sarah Palin or any one else they are trying to pin the blame on for what a clearly disturbed man did.  However, the second article brought an interesting point up that doesn't get much press in our culture: ideas are dangerous.

Ideas themselves don't get much discussion anymore.  We live in a very pragmatic society and ideas, and ideals for that matter, don't earn paychecks or invent ipods.  I see this everyday in a school setting.  What are the two most valued subjects in our schools?  Math and English of course- the useful, everyday subjects.  Even history, the subject I happen to teach, is boiled down to dates and facts with little to no room for discussion of ideas.  The kids in my classes are masters at finding the bold words in the textbooks and the underlined dates, but ask them to think and many of them are lost.  I have a hard time integrating ideas and beliefs in my Christian school history classroom, I can't imagine it happens at all in a public school.  Public schools must teach facts as morally neutral, devoid of any guiding principles, ideas, or beliefs.  Yet, how can we understand the enlightenment, the birth of our nation, or anything else for that matter without understanding the deep beliefs and ideas behind them? 

We have to get away from viewing ideas as disposable.  They may not earn a paycheck and you can't always test them on a scantron sheet, but they guide our every action and shape our lives in profound ways.  Sure, Nietzsche may not be to blame for the Tuscon shootings but the overthrow of Biblical values of right and wrong he proposed and their replacement by a new society where everyone decides for themselves what is right for them has been largely fulfilled.  These ideas must be discussed, evaluated, and debated in our homes and in our Churches.  Ideas are dangerous, but the most dangerous thing we can do is ignore them. 

Fruit Vs. Works

One more Bonhoeffer quote before I finish "The Cost of Discipleship."

"Works are dead, fruit is alive, and it bears the seed which will bring forth more fruit.  Works can subsist on their own, fruit cannot exist apart from the tree.  Fruit is always the miraculous, the created; it is never the result of willing, but always a growth...  There is no room for boasting here, but only for an ever more intimate union with him." 

Goodbye legalism and the anxiety that goes with it. 

Goodbye cheap conversions with no outward change.

Goodbye religious pride and self righteousness. 

A change in the dating scene

Stephanie and I were able to go last night and see comedian Jeff Allen.  If you have never heard of him than you are missing out.  I've never been to a comedy show before but we laughed for 2 straight hours at his.  At several points I thought Stephanie might go into labor from laughing so hard.  However, I did notice a few changes in our dates now- as married adults with a toddler- and our dates from years go by.  So, I thought I'd run through the basics of dating then and dating now.

Dating then:
Preparation:  Call Steph, tell her to get ready.  Allow time for makeup and a few outfit changes.  Pick her up.  Go on date.

Date:  Show up at the door with flowers.  Leave as early as possible so as to spend all day together.  Go to dinner at a nice, sit down restaraunt.  Go to a movie or some other excuse for sitting in a dark room and trying to steal kisses.  Go to walmart (every date we ever had ended in walmart, its the only thing open after 10!).  Walk leisurely through and find some sweet little something to get Stephanie.  Leave at the last possible minute to get home at the allowable time.  Rush to take Steph home so she wouldn't get in trouble.  Kiss and hug for at least 10 minutes goodbye.

Dating now
Preparation:  3 calls and e-mails to Grandma to ensure babysitting.  Don't order tickets until last minute and don't get hopes up- lots of things could fall through.  4 e-mails and conversations with boss to make sure it is ok for me to get a night off that I wasn't supposed to work to begin with.  Carefully schedule doctor, chiropracter and dentist appointments to have a free night.  On Steph's end- lay out diapers, night clothes, spare clothes, supper, leave out baby monitors.  Find 5 minutes to get dressed. 

Date: Show up at the door with a gallon of milk.  Heat up chicken nuggets for the baby and wait for Grandma to get there.   Hugs and kisses... for the baby... and goodbyes.  Pick up fast food on the way and delicately balance sauces while driving and dipping chicken tenders at the same time.  Get gas... oh and fuel for car.  Rush to the show and get caught in a traffic jam.  Take 4 detours and get there 5 minutes late.  Stop by the bathroom for pre-show pee and walk in just as show is starting.  Watch show and try to think about the best way home not to hit traffic.  Leave show and walk to the car as if its midnight: it's 9:05.  Get in the car and rush home... for the 10:00 news.  Fall asleep in living room chairs and wake up a few hours later... to pee again.          

Anyone else identify with this?  Don't get me wrong, it was a fantastic night and I loved having Stephanie all to myself, I guess its just a different kind of fun now! 

The Responsibility of Today

"If instead of receiving God's gifts for today we worry about tomorrow, we find ourselves helpless victims of infinite anxiety"- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Steph and I were discussing teenagers yesterday over dinner and came to a fairly complex conclusion: their stupid.  Well, most of them anyway.  Maybe that's not fair to say they are stupid, but rather that they spend their time on stupid things.  I say this more as a reflection on my own teenage years than as an accusation against any particular teenager I currently know.  As I told Steph, I think I could remove ages 12-17 with very few problems.  After all, what did I spend my time doing?  I watched a lot of tv and read very few books.  I bought myself plenty of junk (most of which I have sold since!) and gave very little to others.  I spent hours upon hours in mindless activities giving no thought to the orphan and the widow.  In short, I was selfish. 

Now, I say this not to wallow in regret but to hopefully encourage myself to greater things in my life today.  Its not that those things weren't important to me in my younger years, I just thought it wasn't my job to do that stuff, at least not yet.  I still find that thought nagging in my mind.  When I am older and have more time I'll really be able to pitch in more at Church.  When my career settles down, then I'll take my wife out regularly and show her just how important she is to me.  When I just have a little more money, then I'll be able to give cheerfully.  I keep putting obedience off and my fear is that I will look back wondering why I did not grab hold of the opportunities of today.

Scripture is filled with the exhortation to be obedient today.  "Today if you hear his voice do not harden your hearts."  "Behold, now is the acceptable time, today is the day of salvation."  "Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself."  Those are just a few I'm sure.  It seems that in God's eyes the only day I have to be obedient is today.  Today is a responsibility, the ultimate responsibility, what will I do with it? 

So, let each dawn bring with it a renewed sense of urgency.  Today is the day I will follow Christ.  Today is the day of salvation.  Redemption is here... now!  Let me lay hold of the Kingdom and live under the reigning King, the King of each day, hour and moment.  Let me prepare, but let me serve while I prepare.  Let me wait patiently, but let me be joyful and bear fruit while I wait.  Let me love in each moment like it is the most important moment I will ever have not because of the circumstances of the day but because each day is a gift, a gift that didn't have to be given to me.  

"We are bruised and broken masterpieces, but today we have today."- Switchfoot

A blog is birthed

It seems I have finally made it to the last decade just in time for a new one.  I have renewed my effort at facebook and Steph and I have decided to attempt blogging.  I think I resisted the social networks and blogs for so long because I don't feel I have much worth saying, much less worth reading.  After all the internet is full of people who tweet and update a thousand times a day, keeping the world enthralled with stories of important events in their life, like you know, fixing themselves a ham sandwhich for instance.  Blogging to me seemed like wasting others time with meaningless ramblings.  I know, I am quite the optimist.  However, a few things have changed my view of blogging and led me to give it a try.  They are, in no particular order, as follows:

1.  I began to read some blogs by some friends who actually had meaningful things to say.  I found myself reading their blogs during the day and it diverted my attention away from everyday tasks to bigger truths.  I began to meditate on what they were meditating on.   

2.  I have becoming increasingly aware since joining such a great Church that community in the body of Christ is important.  If that community is nourished by the internet, than I want to be a part of that.
 
3.  I bought a new computer and the only way I can justify the expense is by using it more than I used the last one.  Blogging seemed more noble than internet poker.

4.  My wife says my attempt at social networking is "cute" and I still go all rudolph when she says something I do is cute.  If you don't know what I'm talking about then click here-  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm94FmRX6c0&feature=related  ... You remember now don't you?

So, here it goes!